Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who may have started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a lady dating in Russia while learning the language. This is certainly an interest We have too much to state about really as I’d a Russian gf inside my amount of time in Kazan that we partly credit with assisting me discover the language therefore quickly (links to my tale below).
Therefore it’s interesting to know another perspective – especially one which respects the standard values of Russian society. ??
Russia is portrayed towards the western as a cool, difficult spot with a few magical architecture, wide variety vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and who, for many unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
The folks are portrayed within the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or people of gangs whom continue steadily to make reference to one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is just a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very a word that is russian! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst its cool, vodka truly exists, and calendars featuring a shirtless putin and puppies aren’t an issue, you will find a lot of misconceptions about Russian tradition and individuals.
After residing here for very long sufficient to get a decent glimpse into Russian tradition, here you will find the things that i’d like you to learn about Russia and Russians:
Before we have stuck into this time, i wish to inform you that i really do not condone any “traditional” view of ladies which involves domestic physical violence or any type of behavior that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance regarding the woman’s free might.
The things I do wish to state is the fact that, as a financially-independent Western woman, I LIKE that Russian males hold doors available in my situation which help me down buses.
Do it is expected by me? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it will or does not take place? Not really.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of during my belly whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Actually Do!
It’s a gesture that is respectful it suggests that they’re capable of considering other people. If nothing else, that is definitely a lot better than having a guy yell “nice arse” at me personally from a motor vehicle…
It’s a tad bit more complicated outside of the dating scene.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me straight down through the coach or train. I’m Australian and I also have always been maybe maybe not yet comfortable leaping down one thing only a little higher than I’d like it become when my landing area is covered in snowfall and ice, therefore it is truly helpful.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see guys women that are helping prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things up the stairs, BUT I will admit that I’m suspicious of just what my male 14-year-old pupils are as much as once they insist upon keeping the class home open for me personally. ??
It is also just a little bewildering whenever a senior girl rejects my offer to greatly help her with her shopping, simply to accept the offer associated with the next male that is passing.
Russia is certainly not a impairment place that is friendly numerous ways, thus I do question whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized within the West and called away as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, much less a direct result an even more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I remember the fights that I experienced with lazy/tired Melbourne employees for the train chair once I had stitches in my own base and compare it aided by the Russians leaping down their seats to aid anybody somewhat even worse off than on their own, i do believe the western could discover anything or two.
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are particular objectives that can come along side being women in Russia that we don’t fundamentally donate to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance girl, within the feeling that I don’t invest a huge amount of time keeping myself and my typical hairstyle is “yes, my locks happens to be washed recently sufficient and then left to its very own devices”.
We truly don’t appearance or odor I can probably be best described as plain like I spent the last three years living with Russian bears, but, compared to the effort put in by Russian women.
A number of my friends that are male dates have actually brought this through to a wide range of occasions.
A number of the feedback are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress such as for instance a Russian”
Most are a tad bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my mindset is unquestionably a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or who don’t just just take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t going to be ostracized these times. We have firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that recommend Russian guys choose women that will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The Russian man that I’ve been seeing is very happy to prepare. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He’s additionally above happy to simply take the backseat on almost every other meal and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever I prepare.
No foul it’s a little Pavlovian, but for now I find it cute so no harm.
Another cultural huge difference that I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils within my classes have actually raised their eyebrows more often than once when I’ve mentioned hanging out with a male buddy.
Navigating friendships with Russian guys may be tricky because their motives will tend to be just a little dissimilar to your own personal.
This truly exists within Western tradition, however the undertones take steroids in Russia, where wedding and kids are hot subjects between the moms and dads of solitary individuals inside their twenties that are mid-to-late.